When does your personality develop? Believe it or not before we learn to talk. A baby makes demands according to their needs. How those needs are met, or not, start to set the personality. When a child's needs are met promptly and they are talked to in a pleasant manner the child will be more genial than one whose needs are not met. Or one who is badly treated by the parents or caregivers.
So by the time children start school they pretty much are on their way to their full personality. It is just reinforced or exacerbated by teachers and the other adults and children they meet.
One reason for sibling rivalry is because the younger children get compared to the older ones. Also the older ones suddenly are not only not the center of attention but anything they have outgrown, clothes and toys, go to the new arrival. So it is important the parents make them feel part of taking care of the baby. To make the child understand they are not replaced and that they don't really need or use the old stuff anyway. So why not give it to the baby. With a choice of something new in place of something they no longer need most children learn to be generous and giving.
Then there are the toxic words I have already discussed. We use them on ourselves, unknowingly to our detriment as well. But think how much worse they are to a child who thinks a parent raises the moon and stars. They can become angry, or fearful, rebellious toward authority and we are at fault aided by others such as teachers or relatives. Even strangers who do not like children and always find fault with them.
The driving force behind our personality is our fears. How we cope with those fears through defense mechanism's, resistances and escapes completes the rest of the personality. The myriad of fears, defenses, resistances and escapes are why we are as individual in personality as we are in our fingerprints.
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1 comment:
Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving the comment regarding teaching handwriting. (I'm going to homeschool) My daughter loves to work on her handwriting even now and I'll be certain to pay closer attention to how she holds her pencil. Thank you!
Also, I enjoyed your entries on Toxic Words - such great thoughts and a wonderful reminder to watch the words I use - to be positive and kind and use words to build up rather than tear down. :)
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