Saturday, September 13, 2008

Fears, Defenses, Resistances, and Escapes

The fears that show in handwriting are mainly fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of success. There are nuances for each of these fears but they mostly boil down to these four.
Once you have found the fears in a writing you must try to identify why it exists. Then what are the defenses for this fear. What are the resistances and escapes. To give you an example I will use myself. My writing shows I have a fear of loss or rejection. My defense is to be a people pleaser. The resistance is to avoid conflict at all costs and my escape is to manipulate others to fight my battles.
I had a very happy childhood and found the fear of loss or rejection puzzleing. My teacher Ron told me it stemmed from very early childhood. I said my parents divorced when I was 3. Instead of being told about the divorce we were told our mother had died. I do remember the anger I felt when told my mother had died. I don't even remember how old I was when we learned the truth that she didn't die until I was nearly 7. In the last few years I have learned what I thought were recurring dreams were memories. One was of myself trying to reach a baby bottle under the bed while a baby cried. The other was of 2 women coming to the house and being turned away and one of the ladies crying. But I was about 25 when I learned I had a half sister. To make a long story short in todays world she would have been charged with child endangerment and it was one of the things that led to the divorce.
To go on my defense became to be a pleaser while my stubborn German background threw in some "silent rebellion" in the form of backwards formed capital I's and lower case f's. My avoidance of conflict has made it hard for me to say NO and even now that causes me to take on more than I should.
As for the escape I find I hint at what I want or need done and hope others will take care of it for me.
At least I am aware of these things and to know yourself so well is a valuable lesson. Through my studies of graphology and writing the Alphabet Speaks I have made some changes. Becoming a bit more analytical, a bit more reserved, and I can actually say NO now and mean it.
So look at your writing. Did you identify your fear? Do you understand what your defense is and the resistance and escape? If not lets get together.


Glenn said...

The validity of this science mainly depends on where the graphologist is trained from. It is very true that there are no proper standards in the training methods worldwide. And only very few institutes have professional programs.
Below are those few institutes which adhere to high training standards and their programs are very extensive and take nearly 1-2 years to complete.
Handwriting Analysts India
British Academy of Graphology
Psychological/Graphological Institute{Zurich]

Laura said...

I didn't know you could find out that much from handwriting. I can understand someone who is kind of bold writing with big, wide letters and someone quiet writing small. I didn't think it could go a lot farther than that.